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Deleted Member June 30, 2011 -
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My mother was surprised the night I told her how I felt about her for the first time ever. She knew she could be annoying at times but before now, I never uttered a word of disagreement to her no matter how frustrated I was.
“I can’t please you all the time, especially when it means displeasing myself.”
I’d said as politely as I could.
“So, do you mean I force you to please me?” She responded in disbelief. “Are you actually telling me it’s a crime to ask you to have your hair done?” She got upset, but listened to my explanation even though she misquoted me at the end of it all.
My uncle, her little cousin, told her how much she never understood me and how hard she was on me. She scoffed at his comments and accused him of over pampering me.
A week after I had that conversation with my mother, I noticed some changes. She didn’t pick any fault from all I’d done in the house that week. She didn’t scream at me for washing the rice instead of parboiling it. Neither did she start a fight with me for refusing to have my hair done.
A few weeks passed and I had my mother ringing me every hour I was in college to check up on me. And welcoming me with delectable cookings after a long day at school. It was surprising but felt very good.
I began doing things I knew she liked, especially listening to her talk and watching movies with her. And before I could realise it, my mother and I were finally having a relationship. We began doing things together, going places and having fun together. Sometimes, she would beg me not to go to school so that I could keep her company. And I would beg her not to visit her friends so she could go shopping with me.
In two months, I got so fond of my mother, I felt so loved. I got to know the meaning of love and family being there for one another. I wished I had that long before now and I prayed I had it forever.
One Thursday, I got back from school not meeting anyone at home. Later, my siblings arrived with my mother looking sick. She had just got a tooth removed. She was upset about losing an aching tooth especially when it ended not being decayed.
I put her to bed after reading out the doctor’s warning to her, one of which I emphasized on. ‘No talking unnecessarily’.
The next day was a family member’s wedding day. It was going to take place at the bigger family house at Aja. And my mother had to be there, together with her mother, older brother and sister, and her younger sister’s husband who was going to drive them. My aunt, her younger sister couldn’t be there because she was pregnant and due for delivery that day.
My mother, this morning, looked better this morning, probably due to the pain killer.
I was ironing her dress when i told her about a dream i had of her being involved in an accident. We normally shared our dreams every morning and prayed about them. But this morning we didn’t.
Mum just replied “I will not die in Jesus’ name.”
And we all answered “Amen.”
I was in the kitchen when she was set to leave for the wedding ceremony. But first she would go to my grandma’s house to meet up with the rest of the family and they would leave together. My siblings were going to follow her to my grandma’s house to play with my little cousins.
My mother came to the kitchen to inform me that she was leaving with my siblings and to bid my bye. But there was something about her looks that moment; she looked more beautiful and peaceful. I just smiled at the thought of telling her how beautiful she was.
“If you are not doing any other thing today, wash your clothes before they get too much.” The last thing she said before leaving.
I was finished with the chores around mid-day when I started feeling depressed. And before I knew it, I was in tears but I didn’t know what i was crying for.
I sat by my window, staring out at the road. And the only thought in my head was how that moment was going to mark the end of a phase in my life and yet the beginning of another. I didn’t know where those funny thoughts came from but they kept coming.
Then I tried to shake the thoughts off by washing my clothes as my mother had advised.
An hour later, I got a call from my aunt, my mum’s little sister, asking me to come down to my grandma’s house.
The moment i got to the street where my grandma’s house was, everybody on the street stared at me. Some even pointed at me from a distance, muttering.
In front of my grandma’s house were a lot of people with sympathetic looks and responses as I greeted them. I was hoping nothing was wrong but with the cold atmosphere I couldn’t help but wonder what was happening.
My aunt was somewhere further up the street, seated in the midst of people who looked just as the people in front of the house, and were having a conversation of what looked like ‘comforting’ with her. I didn’t bother going up to her.
I went inside my grandma’s house to check with my siblings, and I got it from my little sister that my mother and her siblings had a ferry accident. They had travelled to Aja by sea while my grandma and my aunt’s husband travelled by road because they were late for the ceremony and they had to represent the family members there.
My little sister and brother were crying and that wasn’t time for me to cry along with them. So I began calming them down, telling them everybody would be fine. But deep inside, I was scared they were not going to survive because neither of them could swim.
Someone who over-heard our conversation came and told me that my uncle was still missing in the river and both my mother and aunt were in the hospital. That gave me a mixed feeling of sadness, fear and hope that my uncle may have drowned, or may have been saved by other people and still been unconscious, may not be able to tell them where he was from. I hoped that my mother and aunt could survive the accident. That was all i could do, hope.
It was getting late and there was still no news about any of them. I got more worried. I wanted to go to the hospital but I didn’t know which hospital and the people who knew wouldn’t tell me. And in my country there’s nothing like directory for anything, let alone hospitals.
A couple of hours later, I wanted to go to my house, since the day was over and there was still no news, and hope there would be good news in the morning after. But my aunt wouldn’t allow me; she said I should pass the night in my grandma’s house.
Around six in the morning, I was informed about the death of my mother and my uncle.
“They are dead!” My aunt cried out.
It struck me real hard. The pain I felt was beyond crying over. I just stared into space, seeing different faces of my mother in my head.
I wished I was able to talk to her before her death but I didn’t even get to see her moments before her passing. She’d passed on as soon as she was taken to the hospital, or so I was told.
The most hurtful thing was the fact that our lives would never look the same. Especially for my brother who was ten years too young to lose a mother.
Based on my religion, my mother was to be buried immediately she died, or as soon as possible.
We freshened up and went to my house, where her body was kept. My siblings and I saw her for the last time. She was laid on my bed. My siblings couldn’t stop crying, but I couldn’t cry at all. I just stood there, staring at her peaceful self, wishing she could just wake up and say it was a joke.
Almost an hour later, my mother was deep down in the ground, and it happened right in my presence. That was the worst thing I ever experienced.
