Bitter Rivals My entree into the 5 minute short screnplay contest. Enjoy!
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Bitter Rivals
by Craig Nazimek
FADE IN:
EXT. APARTMENT COMPLEX - NIGHT
Shadows of people walking and dancing past the illuminated
windows of the apartment complex, decked in New Years Eve
banners, convey the feeling that this New Year is going to be
great.
INT. APARTMENT LOBBY - NIGHT
COSTUMED PERSON walks up to and pushes the elevator button to
go up. He is carrying an invitation card.
INVITATION CARD
Sarah and Johnny's Rockin' New
Years Eve Costume Extravaganza!
RETURN TO SCENE
The elevator opens and the COSTUMED PERSON is revealed to be
a guy, who is dressed in a Andrew Jackson costume, and enters
the elevator. The elevator door begins to shut.
UNKNOWN PERSON (O.S.)
(screams)
Hold that!
Andrew Jackson hears the yell and hold open the elevator. In
runs the unknown person who is an out of breath guy dressed
in an American Indian outfit.
AMERICAN INDIAN
Thank you. Thank...
American Indian looks up to see Andrew Jackson staring at him
as the elevator closes.
AMERICAN INDIAN (CONT'D)
Mother Fucker.
INT. ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS
ANDREW JACKSON
What the fuck are you doin here?
AMERICAN INDIAN
I outa ask you the same question.
Andrew Jackson looks down and sees the American Indian
holding the same invitation that he has.
ANDREW JACKSON
I'm here cause' I'm Andrew fukin
Jackson. You're here to fill the
quota.
AMERICAN INDIAN
Fuck you whitey! If it wasn't for
you, my people would have our land,
land you stole you greedy mick
bastard!
ANDREW JACKSON
I AM THE PRESIDENT OF THESE...
The elevators stops and the lights flicker.
ANDREW JACKSON (CONT'D)
What the..
AMERICAN INDIAN
Hell no! I'm stuck on this fuckin
elevator with Old fuckin Hickory on
New Years fukin Eve.
ANDREW JACKSON
You wouldn't have been here to
celebrate New Years Eve if it
wasn't for a few of my friends and
little thing called the Decleration
of Independence!
AMERICAN INDIAN
And you would've been dead because
of a fukin potatoe if mommy and
daddy didn't swim on over here!
ANDREW JACKSON
YOU WILL NOT TALK ABOUT MY PARENTS
LIKE...
AMERICAN INDIAN
And your wife Rachel's a whore.
ANDREW JACKSON
How dare you!?
AMERICAN INDIAN
Oh I dare.
ANDREW JACKSON
You know what, just shut up and
kill yourself.
AMERICAN INDIAN
What did you say?
ANDREW JACKSON
Oh yea, you guys have the highest
suicide rate.
AMERICAN INDIAN
Wo. Wo. Wo. Too far man, that hits
home.
ANDREW JACKSON
Oh, I'm sorry.
AMERICAN INDIAN
Nah it's cool man. You know it's
tough livin in that little piece of
land we got.
ANDREW JACKSON
Mohegan Sun?
AMERICAN INDIAN
Yea. All the lights and sounds and
clingedey-cling, that's why many of
the brothers teepee themselves in a
bottle.
ANDREW JACKSON
I didn't know it was so tough for
you guys. If it makes you feel
better, I married an already
married woman, and shot like eight
other guys!
AMERICAN INDIAN
Man, yous a crazy mother fucker.
ANDREW JACKSON
Tell me about it, and I'm a
president!
AMERICAN INDIAN
Yea man, good thing you don't have
a vagina, that seems to be where
they draw the line these days.
They both sit down.
AMERICAN INDIAN (CONT'D)
I'm Juan by the way.
Juan stretches out his hand.
ANDREW JACKSON
James
They exchange a handshake.
JAMES
So how do you know Johnny and
Sarah?
JUAN
I went to school with Sarah in
Boston.
JAMES
Oh, that mustav been tough goin
there with all the Boston fans.
Juan gives a "fuck you" look to James.
The lights flicker and the elevator begins to move.
JAMES (CONT'D)
Oh wow, finally we're gonna get to
this party. And who the fuck has a
costume party on New Years?
The elevator doors open into Johnny and Sara's apartment.
INT. JOHNNY AND SARA'S APARMNET - CONTINUOUS
A whole bunch of people are gathered together dressed in
costumes dancing to music.
Johnny and Sarah, dressed as Al Borland and Heidi from Home Improvement,
greet Juan and James.
SARAH
Wow guys, wer've ya been?
JAMES
The elevator was stuck.
JUAN
Yea, we were there for a few
minutes.
JOHNNY
Wow! I can't believe that! I mean
a Yankees fan and a Red Sox fan
stuck in an elevator. How the hell
didn't you guys kill each other?
Juan and James turn to each other.
CUT TO BLACK
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